Internet makes me crazy. Period.
I am trying to figure out why.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
What I am not
I think before you know who you are, you find out who you are not.
I can just say that I am NOT: a model, a muse.
An artist?
no - I don't know what that is.
I can just say that I am NOT: a model, a muse.
An artist?
no - I don't know what that is.
Boxing
I took my first boxing class! Intense, damn it!
The trainer helped me with my last drill "Hey, look at that!" he said, - "you are a fighter."
And!!! actually, smiled. :)
"I know" - I said. I couldn't smile.
Then I came home and tried to type. Gave up. And thought - "fuck, the next training is coming on Saturday."
___
Wow - all these people I write about in my diary.
;0)
Amazing, right?!
=)
The trainer helped me with my last drill "Hey, look at that!" he said, - "you are a fighter."
And!!! actually, smiled. :)
"I know" - I said. I couldn't smile.
Then I came home and tried to type. Gave up. And thought - "fuck, the next training is coming on Saturday."
___
Wow - all these people I write about in my diary.
;0)
Amazing, right?!
=)
Saturday, April 26, 2008
When You Grow Up
You know how you grow up and your parents are like: So, kiddo, who you wanna be, when you grow up?! You wanna be a doctor, right?
And the kiddo goes: "Riight, I wanna be a doctor."
It's like a hypnose.
Well - long story short. I wanted to be a lawyer.
Although, when I realized that I didn't, really - I was about to become anything from a flight attendant to FSB agent.
And my Mom was like:
"Sure, Julia, I'll support you." "Maybe it's your thing."
And this morning, when we were talking. She said:
"Sure, Julia, I'll support you." "Because I want you to be happy."
Yep. That's what she said.
=)
I hung up the phone and cried.
:) in a good way.
:)
:)
:)
And the kiddo goes: "Riight, I wanna be a doctor."
It's like a hypnose.
Well - long story short. I wanted to be a lawyer.
Although, when I realized that I didn't, really - I was about to become anything from a flight attendant to FSB agent.
And my Mom was like:
"Sure, Julia, I'll support you." "Maybe it's your thing."
And this morning, when we were talking. She said:
"Sure, Julia, I'll support you." "Because I want you to be happy."
Yep. That's what she said.
=)
I hung up the phone and cried.
:) in a good way.
:)
:)
:)
Friday, April 25, 2008
BLOCKBUSTER
Ready for this?
Blockbuster doesn't have an option to search movies by the Director.
On top of all that they do not carry the movies/films that actually justify their mere existence.
Oh - and the employees... wow - I wonder what underground they dig those idiots from.
But I did find this:
Can't wait to come back from the gym tonight.
...from the gym...
=)
Blockbuster doesn't have an option to search movies by the Director.
On top of all that they do not carry the movies/films that actually justify their mere existence.
Oh - and the employees... wow - I wonder what underground they dig those idiots from.
But I did find this:
Can't wait to come back from the gym tonight.
...from the gym...
=)
Cycling 1.1
So, I took the cycling class again this morning and the instructor said that it doesn't matter how fast you go - it is important to have a high heart rate. And smiled. :)
Or maybe he didn't smile, I didn't see cuz I was pedaling.
)
anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am sticking to my athletic goals.
=)
Or maybe he didn't smile, I didn't see cuz I was pedaling.
)
anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am sticking to my athletic goals.
=)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A date
So, I went to this date. And by the end of it he said: quote "You've got a fucking head on your shoulders."
He sounded very disappointed.
Alas.
He sounded very disappointed.
Alas.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
"Control" phrase
I don't mean all that THAT way.
Just thought I'd be a professional and say that to avoid the circumstances.
-j, the killer :)
Just thought I'd be a professional and say that to avoid the circumstances.
-j, the killer :)
The Wizard of Oz
You know that feeling when you for the first time rode on a two wheel bike? You feel like a hero cuz you publicly drove a two wheel bike now.
But what you thinking is: "Fuck - what the hell with two wheels?!" And you secretly wish you could still just sit your butt on your old four wheels, feel stable and safe, and just go for a ride - for fun.
But what you thinking is: "Fuck - what the hell with two wheels?!" And you secretly wish you could still just sit your butt on your old four wheels, feel stable and safe, and just go for a ride - for fun.
Anxiety is somewhat like that. You do something good, and then you get into this "overrated overthinking", like one of those pity comedians that can't fucking stop after made everyone laugh.
Each thought is provided with the subscript: fuck, I gotta write it down. cuz what if that is the last good thought I have.
Sooo....
as a result I through out all my shoes.
=D
It is very, very logical. I just can't explain. Really :)
I took all my "come fuck me", "come fuck me now", and "fuck me but don't cum" shoes and literally put them in the garbage. BECAUSE! (!!!eureka!!!) - they are not comfortable!!!
So I did wanted to say "thanks", but now that I am reading what I typed I am thinking... you know what... consider getting me a gift certificate for my birthday or something.
DJ TIESTO:
You have become
What you have always been
Life figuring out
Rephrase your vision
No words I can speak
A path should been chosen
All trembling track
She lead us back and here
the guts are
etc...
PS:
anyhooo - it's late. I am gonna go get some vine and do some homework.
:)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Lesson # 1
What makes a good movie GOOD.
It's the execution.
Cuz if you only have the idea w/o the ability to deliver it, then you are just a ... philosopher of some sort, or something.
:)
It's the execution.
Cuz if you only have the idea w/o the ability to deliver it, then you are just a ... philosopher of some sort, or something.
:)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
insanity
just to make a point of all the seriousness ot this thing for me:
I can't even bring myself to go shopping!
*significan't pause*
Nothing else matters. NOTHING.
I can't even bring myself to go shopping!
*significan't pause*
Nothing else matters. NOTHING.
I have a friend...
There is a difference between me and Neil Young.
)
... and brooklyn girls.
PS:
so much for removing myself and ego, and etc...
hahahahhaha
)
... and brooklyn girls.
PS:
so much for removing myself and ego, and etc...
hahahahhaha
just something.
I just wanna say that I think the real differnce between the art and creativity (dark or not so much) is removing your ego from it.
Sometimes we fall under the certain emotions that drive us and that is when the ego gets on the way.
I think this is a parody of art and has to be brutally murdered - because, in the end it confuses people.
I am feeling good. Selfless. And inspired.
And a little crazy.
But it feels right - you know what i mean?
Anyhow - I am really, really looking forward to evolve in this direction. Now, that I've discovered it.
Sometimes we fall under the certain emotions that drive us and that is when the ego gets on the way.
I think this is a parody of art and has to be brutally murdered - because, in the end it confuses people.
I am feeling good. Selfless. And inspired.
And a little crazy.
But it feels right - you know what i mean?
Anyhow - I am really, really looking forward to evolve in this direction. Now, that I've discovered it.
Disapointment
Alright, so if you close your eyes and try to imagine any of the next words now:
-apple;
-house;
-flower.
Easy, right? Only takes a second to do it. Because we already have a certain idea of how our (apple/house/flower) looks like.
When I had imagined 'muse' it would always be some type of a fairy-looking woman in pastel colors and clouds.
well...life isn't always what we imagine. So, i guess, I'll just use the term "itellectually stimulating people" for now.
:)
-apple;
-house;
-flower.
Easy, right? Only takes a second to do it. Because we already have a certain idea of how our (apple/house/flower) looks like.
When I had imagined 'muse' it would always be some type of a fairy-looking woman in pastel colors and clouds.
well...life isn't always what we imagine. So, i guess, I'll just use the term "itellectually stimulating people" for now.
:)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Cycling Classes
Found very good one. The music is great and the instructor keeps my heart rate up.
=)
=)
a thought
just ask your friend for a good advice when you need one.
He has a head on his shoulders, your friend. I am sure you have one too, it's just that... um... *starts tapping her fingers on the table* it's just that...
um.. whoops.. just lost a thought... there it goes, the thought.. Damn it!
My ADD starts kicking in during the spring.
sorry :)
again.
He has a head on his shoulders, your friend. I am sure you have one too, it's just that... um... *starts tapping her fingers on the table* it's just that...
um.. whoops.. just lost a thought... there it goes, the thought.. Damn it!
My ADD starts kicking in during the spring.
sorry :)
again.
Achtung!
Rattlesnakes. They receive their name for the rattle located at the tip of their tails. The rattle is used as a warning device when threatened.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rattlesnake
Safety and identification
The rattlesnake is not cornered or imminently threatened, it will usually attempt to flee from encounters with humans, but will not always do so. Bites often occur when humans startle the snake or provoke it. Those bitten while provoking rattlesnakes have usually underestimated the range (roughly two-thirds of its total length) and speed with which a coiled snake can strike (literally faster than the human eye can follow). This can be particularly surprising since the snakes can strike without pulling their body back. Some rattle snakes have been seen striking up to an hour after death. This reflex hasn't been recorded in any other species. Heavy boots and long pants reinforced with leather or canvas are recommended for hikers in areas known to harbor rattlesnakes.
Guides are available through booksellers, libraries, and local conservation and wildlife management agencies, etc...
The advice given is to avoid contact with rattlesnakes by remaining observant and not approaching the animals. Hikers are advised to be particularly careful when negotiating fallen logs or boulders and when near rocky outcroppings and ledges where rattlesnakes may be hiding or sunning themselves. However, snakes will occasionally sun themselves in the middle of a trail, so such areas are not the only places where they are encountered. When encountering a rattlesnake on a trail, you are advised to keep your distance and allow the snake room to retreat.
Dammn it, couldn't I think of any other animal!?
)
PS:
I might be wrong tho. it would be nice if I am.
Nevelev
Was my favorite porffessor.
I need to write him to to say how much his passion for teaching and his values helped me.
I think learning is just my thing. There is nothing else that I feel more comfortable doing.
I need to write him to to say how much his passion for teaching and his values helped me.
I think learning is just my thing. There is nothing else that I feel more comfortable doing.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Modeling
My mom always said that I am too smart to be a model.
I finally agree. And I actually get it!!!
You know why I get it???
That's right-cuz I am smart like that.
)
...............and cute.
WHAT?!
I can't deny the fact!!
;-D
I finally agree. And I actually get it!!!
You know why I get it???
That's right-cuz I am smart like that.
)
...............and cute.
WHAT?!
I can't deny the fact!!
;-D
Dark Side
You know, I am always amused when people say that their art is motivated by their "dark side" in them and it is just their type of creativity or watever it is.
That is sad.
I would love to get into details and diagnose a bit deeper, but I am afraid that if I do that - their creativity might pump up to the unpleasant level.
uh-oh, did I say too much again?!
sorry :)
That is sad.
I would love to get into details and diagnose a bit deeper, but I am afraid that if I do that - their creativity might pump up to the unpleasant level.
uh-oh, did I say too much again?!
sorry :)
announcement
For anyone who says that there is something I can't do:
Fuck you!
Hear me there, champs?
FUCK_YOU.
:)
Fuck you!
Hear me there, champs?
FUCK_YOU.
:)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Billy Joel
I really like the "she just changes her mind part".
What a great poet!!!!
=)
She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But shes always a woman to me
She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But shell never believe you
And shell take what you give her, as long as its free
She steals like a thief
But shes always a woman to me
Chorus
Oh-she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
Shes ahead of her time
Oh-and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind
And shell promise you more
Than the garden of eden
Then shell carelessly cut you
And laugh while youre bleedin
But shell bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause shes always a woman to me
Chorus
She is frequently kind
And shes suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
Shes nobodys fool
But she cant be convicted
Shes earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But shes always a woman to me
True Friends
You know how they say that a real friend would stick to you in sadness or in happiness.
Well - I always knew that there are people who don't want to share the sadness. That is a kind of a no-brainer, right.
But to my disappointment I am learning that people don't want to be around you when you are happy either. Because they are jelouse and they can't stand to see someone else happy.
It's so... ugh..
Well - I always knew that there are people who don't want to share the sadness. That is a kind of a no-brainer, right.
But to my disappointment I am learning that people don't want to be around you when you are happy either. Because they are jelouse and they can't stand to see someone else happy.
It's so... ugh..
I had to update a list of my friend's birthdates anyhow...
You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.
Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!
Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.
Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2
Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4
You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.
Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!
Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.
Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2
Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4
You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.
Nelson's Camera
Got it out of the box yesterday and put it in my purse this morning.
that - and now I can justify posting apicture of myself. =)
Plans
I think I finally know what I want to do with myself. I have things I want to say and I want to study film to learn how to do that.
And I am very sure in this choice.
And I am very sure in this choice.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Blog
What I also really wonder about is whether my blog entries are going to continue to be so depressing, unless I like fart in public again or something.
Ridiculous, right?!
Ridiculous, right?!
Anxiety
Why is it so imporant to know that you are being understood. Or understood "right"?
It's like a circle, worry about your "coolness" or reputation, which sort of undermines the point.
It applies both to looks and to these stupid blogs.
Well, I don't think I am "cool" enough to actually be "cool". I can't worry what impression I make and how I am understood, and so forth.
I am tired to look like one of those Salvador Dali Abstracts with my long skinny legs. What for?
I'd be lying if I said (I stay in shape for myself). But why does it matter so much to me how I look or what others' perseption of me is.
why?
It's like a circle, worry about your "coolness" or reputation, which sort of undermines the point.
It applies both to looks and to these stupid blogs.
Well, I don't think I am "cool" enough to actually be "cool". I can't worry what impression I make and how I am understood, and so forth.
I am tired to look like one of those Salvador Dali Abstracts with my long skinny legs. What for?
I'd be lying if I said (I stay in shape for myself). But why does it matter so much to me how I look or what others' perseption of me is.
why?
Final.
What it pretty much boils down to - is that I am smarter than you. Even with my guard down.
And there is nothing I can do about it.
That's a pitty.
And there is nothing I can do about it.
That's a pitty.
My Mother
She never:
critisizes me;
judges me;
manipulates me;
tries to acuse me;
ignores me;
expects anything from me.
she:
encourages me;
gives me all the attention;
makes me feel special;
makes me feel loved, needed, and does it patiently without making me feel guilty;
she spoils me.
I love her too.
She is like a little sunshine in this world. Not just for me. In general.
It is pretty amazing how much love she has and gives.
PS:
I sound like a person in one of those social commercials: "CALL YOUR PARENTS".
which brings other topic I've been thinking about - being a f#@ing cheerleader.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Diary
I think 12 y.o. girls are the smartest creatures in the world. If everyone kept secret/or not so secret (but honest) diaries, nobody would ever need prozak or some other chemichals like that.
It has definetly been an effort to be honest. Cuz some of the stuff is hard to read, even when it goes months back.
Somehow, it's very painful - the more honest and open you are the harder it is to talk. It makes me cry too.
Wierd shit that thing is - human mind. and soul.
It has definetly been an effort to be honest. Cuz some of the stuff is hard to read, even when it goes months back.
Somehow, it's very painful - the more honest and open you are the harder it is to talk. It makes me cry too.
Wierd shit that thing is - human mind. and soul.
Ah!
LINKIN PARK!!!
Linkin Park is set to headline Projekt Revolution 2008 this summer! Presale tickets for Projekt Revolution 2008 are available for purchase to LP Underground members NOW! Presales will end April 5 at 5pm (2 DAYS ONLY!) so be sure to get your tix before everyone else!
Also as a special bonus, Linkin Park is picking up part of the tab ONLY FOR LPU MEMBERS' presale tickets to Projekt Revolution 2008! LPU members WILL NOT have to pay for service charges when they purchase their LPU presale tickets.
LPU PRESALES FOR ALL PROJEKT REVOLUTION SHOWS ARE GOING ON NOW, AND WILL END APRIL 5 AT 5PM (LOCAL TIME).
So that means if you are not in LPU, right now is the time to join and tell everyone to join LPU! As an LPU member, they will be able to take advantage of this opportunity to have LPU presale tickets service fees waived and save approx $8-11! Online LPU memberships are only $15, so this is a huge savings. Regular U.S. LPU packages are only $28.
For more information and to join LPU visit www. lpunderground. com.
LPU members have access to exclusive content and opportunities including:
- LP Underground 7 CD with Live Recordings featuring the Best of Projekt Revolution 2007, T-shirt, Sticker Pack, Shoelaces, Carabiner Keychain, and Membership Card
- Letter from Linkin Park and Annual Newsletter
- Opportunities for Presale Tickets and Meet & Greet Passes (AND LPU presale ticket service fees waived)
- Exclusive Audio & Video Clips
- Access to Members-Only Website: www. lpunderground.
com
- Mobile Benefits including Exclusive LPU Ringtone, Wallpaper, and more
- Your Own E-mail Address [name@linkinpark.com]
- Exclusive and discounted merchandise online
Projekt Revolution Tour Dates
Jul 16 Boston, MA Tweeter Center for the Performing Arts
Jul 18 Pittsburgh, PA Post-Gazette Pavilion
Jul 19 Philadelphia, PA Susquehana Bank Center
Jul 20 Hartford, CT New England Dodge Music Center
Jul 22 New York, NY Nikon at Jones Beach Theater
Jul 23 Holmdel, NJ PNC Bank Arts Center
Jul 25 Raleigh, NC Time Warner Cable Music Pavilion at Walnut Creek
Jul 26 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless Virginia Beach Amphitheater
Jul 27 Washington, DC Nissan Pavilion
Jul 30 Charlotte, NC Charlotte Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Aug 1 West Palm Beach, FL Cruzan Amphitheatre
Aug 2 Tampa, FL Ford Amphitheatre
Aug 3 Atlanta, GA Lakewood Amphitheatre
Aug 7 Phoenix, AZ Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Aug 9 San Francisco, CA Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Aug 10 Irvine, CA Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Aug 12 Denver, CO Fiddler’s Green Amphitheatre
Aug 15 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
Aug 16 Chicago, IL Alpine Valley Music Theatre
Aug 17 Indianaplis, IN Verizon Wireless Music Center Indianapolis
Aug 19 Cleveland, OH Blossom Music Center
Aug 21 St. Louis, MO Verizon Wireless Amphitheater St.
Louis
Aug 23 Dallas, TX Superpages. com Center
Aug 24 Houston, TX Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
Main Stage Artists
Linkin Park
Chris Cornell
The Bravery
Ashes Divide
Revolution Stage Artists
Atreyu
10 Years
Hawthorne Heights
Armor For Sleep
Street Drum Corps
Linkin Park is set to headline Projekt Revolution 2008 this summer! Presale tickets for Projekt Revolution 2008 are available for purchase to LP Underground members NOW! Presales will end April 5 at 5pm (2 DAYS ONLY!) so be sure to get your tix before everyone else!
Also as a special bonus, Linkin Park is picking up part of the tab ONLY FOR LPU MEMBERS' presale tickets to Projekt Revolution 2008! LPU members WILL NOT have to pay for service charges when they purchase their LPU presale tickets.
LPU PRESALES FOR ALL PROJEKT REVOLUTION SHOWS ARE GOING ON NOW, AND WILL END APRIL 5 AT 5PM (LOCAL TIME).
So that means if you are not in LPU, right now is the time to join and tell everyone to join LPU! As an LPU member, they will be able to take advantage of this opportunity to have LPU presale tickets service fees waived and save approx $8-11! Online LPU memberships are only $15, so this is a huge savings. Regular U.S. LPU packages are only $28.
For more information and to join LPU visit www. lpunderground. com.
LPU members have access to exclusive content and opportunities including:
- LP Underground 7 CD with Live Recordings featuring the Best of Projekt Revolution 2007, T-shirt, Sticker Pack, Shoelaces, Carabiner Keychain, and Membership Card
- Letter from Linkin Park and Annual Newsletter
- Opportunities for Presale Tickets and Meet & Greet Passes (AND LPU presale ticket service fees waived)
- Exclusive Audio & Video Clips
- Access to Members-Only Website: www. lpunderground.
com
- Mobile Benefits including Exclusive LPU Ringtone, Wallpaper, and more
- Your Own E-mail Address [name@linkinpark.com]
- Exclusive and discounted merchandise online
Projekt Revolution Tour Dates
Jul 16 Boston, MA Tweeter Center for the Performing Arts
Jul 18 Pittsburgh, PA Post-Gazette Pavilion
Jul 19 Philadelphia, PA Susquehana Bank Center
Jul 20 Hartford, CT New England Dodge Music Center
Jul 22 New York, NY Nikon at Jones Beach Theater
Jul 23 Holmdel, NJ PNC Bank Arts Center
Jul 25 Raleigh, NC Time Warner Cable Music Pavilion at Walnut Creek
Jul 26 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless Virginia Beach Amphitheater
Jul 27 Washington, DC Nissan Pavilion
Jul 30 Charlotte, NC Charlotte Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Aug 1 West Palm Beach, FL Cruzan Amphitheatre
Aug 2 Tampa, FL Ford Amphitheatre
Aug 3 Atlanta, GA Lakewood Amphitheatre
Aug 7 Phoenix, AZ Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Aug 9 San Francisco, CA Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Aug 10 Irvine, CA Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Aug 12 Denver, CO Fiddler’s Green Amphitheatre
Aug 15 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
Aug 16 Chicago, IL Alpine Valley Music Theatre
Aug 17 Indianaplis, IN Verizon Wireless Music Center Indianapolis
Aug 19 Cleveland, OH Blossom Music Center
Aug 21 St. Louis, MO Verizon Wireless Amphitheater St.
Louis
Aug 23 Dallas, TX Superpages. com Center
Aug 24 Houston, TX Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
Main Stage Artists
Linkin Park
Chris Cornell
The Bravery
Ashes Divide
Revolution Stage Artists
Atreyu
10 Years
Hawthorne Heights
Armor For Sleep
Street Drum Corps
Ice Breaker
So I just farted at work!!!!!
And it so fucking queit at work.
I am to embarresed to look at anyone. Man!
And I know... I know... everyone does it. But fuck!!!!
I probably need to check out some anonymus employee intervention program or something now...
And it would probably be funny if I wasn't serious.
CRAP!
=D
so I did it and next minute I know - I had this "do-do-do-di-da-da-do" face... But there was nobody around!!! Nobody! And where are all those fucking annoying messengers who hang by all the fucking time when you need the most?!! lol
So now, to make it worse, every time I look at anybody I can't help but to laugh and change my face color according to rainbow spectrum.
yeah... that's the topic that has been occupying my brain.
funny, how people are trying to make me feel better though. One guy even brought cake!
So keep in mind if there is a tense situation (in all aspekts of that word), feel free - it breaks the ice instantly!!!
___
PS: I am really loving how this little diary works for me.
And it so fucking queit at work.
I am to embarresed to look at anyone. Man!
And I know... I know... everyone does it. But fuck!!!!
I probably need to check out some anonymus employee intervention program or something now...
And it would probably be funny if I wasn't serious.
CRAP!
=D
so I did it and next minute I know - I had this "do-do-do-di-da-da-do" face... But there was nobody around!!! Nobody! And where are all those fucking annoying messengers who hang by all the fucking time when you need the most?!! lol
So now, to make it worse, every time I look at anybody I can't help but to laugh and change my face color according to rainbow spectrum.
yeah... that's the topic that has been occupying my brain.
funny, how people are trying to make me feel better though. One guy even brought cake!
So keep in mind if there is a tense situation (in all aspekts of that word), feel free - it breaks the ice instantly!!!
___
PS: I am really loving how this little diary works for me.
I didn't say I was gone.
I said I was through.
:
:
:
Don't you wish though...
=]
"..you don't know how lucky you are, boy..."
he-he
:)
:
:
:
Don't you wish though...
=]
"..you don't know how lucky you are, boy..."
he-he
:)
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Through
I can tell you in advance what aWaits you. A feeling by feeling.
and please remember - that I never lied.
ta-ta
PS:
And I know that you didn't really mean it this time. But you would have. You will be.
and please remember - that I never lied.
ta-ta
PS:
And I know that you didn't really mean it this time. But you would have. You will be.
OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
That's absolutely about my room!!!
WOOWW
WOOOOW
WHoAAAAAAAAAA
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/04/03/garden/20080403_DESTINY_FEATURE.html?th&emc=th#section1
=)
too much sugar or what today?!
That's absolutely about my room!!!
WOOWW
WOOOOW
WHoAAAAAAAAAA
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/04/03/garden/20080403_DESTINY_FEATURE.html?th&emc=th#section1
=)
too much sugar or what today?!
Value
When you give blood they feed you with these cookies. They gotta be the best cookies in the world.
:)
:)
Fight
Did you know what really FIGHTING is about? It is about being able to fail.
When we really, really want something we tend to care that much that the fear of failure creates this little voice inside your head that triggers the self-indulgence mechanism.
There is this little voice in you that says: "I don't care - I am good already and happy the way I am. And I don't care if I never....(make it, do it, say it, find it, loose it).. or whatever that is".
Well that is such a fucking miserable lie!
Because if you really didn't care you wouldn't be at that place to begin with. You wouldn't even be trying. So, you do care, care very much.
Fighting is about being able to fail, to accept that you are not perfect, to accept that you can't really do it. That you failed.
Then get up and try again, even though your chances are small. Even if you have NO chances. Get up and do it!
Even though it hurts, even if your pride is shuttered. Just stop indulging in yourself and stay true in your believes.
That's fighting.
And that really sounds way better that it feels.
words imitating life always do.
Am I being strong?
I don't know. I don't think so. I fail all the time. But what I do know is that I AM BEING.
I am.
(and I am proud to be)
When we really, really want something we tend to care that much that the fear of failure creates this little voice inside your head that triggers the self-indulgence mechanism.
There is this little voice in you that says: "I don't care - I am good already and happy the way I am. And I don't care if I never....(make it, do it, say it, find it, loose it).. or whatever that is".
Well that is such a fucking miserable lie!
Because if you really didn't care you wouldn't be at that place to begin with. You wouldn't even be trying. So, you do care, care very much.
Fighting is about being able to fail, to accept that you are not perfect, to accept that you can't really do it. That you failed.
Then get up and try again, even though your chances are small. Even if you have NO chances. Get up and do it!
Even though it hurts, even if your pride is shuttered. Just stop indulging in yourself and stay true in your believes.
That's fighting.
And that really sounds way better that it feels.
words imitating life always do.
Am I being strong?
I don't know. I don't think so. I fail all the time. But what I do know is that I AM BEING.
I am.
(and I am proud to be)
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Best wishes in your creative beginings!
oh, that was sooo unnecessary...
But, shit, it's not the news that I just can't help myself sometimes.
I just can't!
:)
Soundtrack follows:
Without ME it's just AWESO
lol
Well, at least I don't have a low self-esteem. That's another good thing I don't have, right?!
Well, at least I don't have a low self-esteem. That's another good thing I don't have, right?!
