Nasty Brat

I'm just too far gone to find the littlest hope inside to keep going.
Or even to pretend to keep going just for the sake of people, who show in the most gentle way, that they care.
I am sorry.

I can't even pretend for my mother who has been talking to a corpse of her daughter once a month or so... We would hang on the phone. She - in one part of the world. And me - in the other. I can only imagine how it would feel to see a part of you, your kid slowly fade away. And she would try to find the best words, the most amazing stories, she would put on oscar-worthy masks, tricks of all sorts to call off her child, who is slowly dying inside.
And both of us are HELPLESS.
And I am trully sorry.