One A Day

How the fuck do people do that?

How do they manage to do anything in moderation AND every day?

Anything I do is just like what everyone else does, but a little over, or totally under.
A little stronger coffee, a little much to drink, not enough sleep, etc..

How?! I want someone to teach me. I really, really just want to be like everyone else.
Get up rested.
Have cigarettes socially.
Socialize regularly.
Have a couple of drinks (two).

Or I want to live in some other world.