I think, therefore it sucks.

My Friends say this because they love me. They say:
"You think too much."
They say it's bad for me.

I think they are right...
But isn't "thinking" is actually existing, like recognizing the essense of being?

Am I overthinking this?
=]


PS:
I noticed that I feel sorry for myself. a lot.
Gotta stop it.
I'll think about it...

Call It Off

The video is great.
If I were going tonight that's what I would dress up like.



So I called it off, and will buy a bottle of vine today. And maybe some wodka. And some juice. And some ice-cream. And nuts.

And just be myself tonight - that's the craziest thing I could have thought of anyhow.

And I'll watch my brand new, in box, un-sealed collection of Bergman movies. That's good enough to keep my thoughs busy.

Intimacy problems?

Why Americans are so sex-obsessed?
or
What's the big fucking deal?

Learning to die

I always questioned how honest were the people who, on their
death-bed said that they were ready to die.
o_O
I wass convinced that they say it because they have nothing better to say.
Or nothing better to do then to say that.

But I am learning to understand!

I want peace.
I want life. .. but in peace.

Is it possible?

So, maybe those people have come to realize that it's either/or situation.
And you get one or another.
First - one.
Then - another.

I want peace, I look for serenity, I get bull shit.
?

[a quote from short stories by J. Lachimova; "What is life? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..."]


)

Bonuses

http://theragblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/salary-bonuses-constitute-10-of-bailout.html

I've learned something

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZhWPl3n9Ow#t=1m32


=D


*proud*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BOOBS!

he-he

THE END

again.

and again...

and again...

many, many times again...

http://www.flickr.com/groups/400716@N22/pool/

I want to go to France.

Next stop: Paris.

Men

I can't stand men.
Like, for example, if I see a fine man - I can't stand.

MASK

I wanted to walk up and rip that fucking mask off your face.

I guess I just really needed to know why you wore it? .... because you were wonded, or just simply because you were ugly underneath.

The Brooklyn Bridge

Liar, liar, pants on fire,
nose as long as a telephone wire.

We're in a film. We're in a film.

If I kiss you, it might be cinema.

If I stroke your hair, it might be cinema.


It's a long story.
In short, Portrait of a Girl.

So you kissed me, and you knew it was being filmed.
You're a bastard! Traitor!

No, you'll see. It will be a love story.

They didn't believe it was suicide.
There was so much blood everywhere.

They had fun making me do a reconstruction.
"She went there."

"She came through here."

"She opened the curtain."

They enjoy playing around with blood.

They were all spies!

Asking if she was sad, if she was happy...


Pigs!




No, but... maybe there is some family secrets inside.

Family secrets? I'll tell you about family secrets.
That holy institution meant to breed virtue in savages.

I want you to repeat it after me.

Say, "Holy family."

Go on. Holy family.

Church of good citizens.
- Good citizens...


The children are tortured
until they tell their first lie.



The children...
are tortured...



Where the will is broken by repression.

Where freedom...
..is assassinated.


Freedom is assassinated by egotism.

Family...







It's the dress that makes the bride.

Now, weddings in advertising smile!

They smile. On posters.
On posters, of course. But why not take poster marriage seriously?

Marriage... Pop marriage!

Pop? That's the formula.

For pop youth, pop marriage!

But... what if the pop marriage doesn't work?

Then you have to fix it like you would a car.
The spouses are two workers in overalls bending over an engine to fix it.

And in case of adultery
what happens to the pop marriage?

In that case,
there are three or four workers.



What about love?
Is love pop?




No. That's not. Love isn't pop.

Love isn't pop. So what is it?



The workers retire to a secret flat, take off their overalls and become men and women again and make love.

***************
I saw all that in my dream after you took me through, over the Brooklyn Bridge. It was windy, I was blown away and I was cold.
You walked me to the other side, and kissed me. I remember I felt like was melting thrugh your fingers.
And then, in my dream, I kept shivering and waking up out of fear that you were not around.

Love

Humiliation and despair are requisites for authenic love.

Fucked up, isn't it?

Thanks

The musical "RENT", based on "La bohème" was closed in September. I've been there.

From RENT:

There's only us
There's only this ...

Forget regret or life is yours to miss

Alright
But Gordon - How do you feel today?

What do you mean?

How do you feel today?

Okay

Is that all?

Best I've felt all year

Then why choose fear?

I'm a New Yorker!
Fear's my life!
Look - I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know

No other road
No other way
No day but today

I found two quotes.

I agree with this one:
“Get around people who have something of value to share with you. Their impact will continue to have a significant effect on your life long they have departed.”

And disagree with that one:
“If we were all given by magic power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships”

well, because I know that my thoughs can not ruin the frienship.

that... and the other reason that allows me to dismiss that statment is YOU.
I see that purity in you also.
Thanks for that.

Liberty

I'll take my FEARS of the future, and my REGRETS of the past. Put them in a crystal ball made out of the finest glass.
Shatter it.
And I'd just keep crashing, crashing, crashing it in my palms. Until it turns to sand.

Then, I would use that bloody sand to make a castle. On the beach. For the sea to wash it off.

All that - so I could celebrate the moment, clapping. To life. To love.

Music Video :)

"You're my musical soulmate"

- a line from the movie.

Broken Flowers

I think that Jarmusch is a king of subtlety - which hits you stronger then any other straight forward message.

Some things remain un-said. Some things are not spoken about.
And those are the ones we remember the most.

When

will all this noncense stop bothering me?

Who

reached to you?

Why

expectation? The promise of happening, why the most that we ever have - a present moment, is not enough?

How

long is "not yet"?

What

is the differnce between boredom and peace?

Ewww

The Man In Me
The man in me will do nearly any task,
And as for compensation, there's little he would ask.
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Storm clouds are raging all around my door,
I think to myself I might not take it any more.
Take a woman like your kind
To find the man in me.

But, oh, what a wonderful feeling
Just to know that you are near,
Sets my a heart a-reeling
From my toes up to my ears.

The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen,
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine.
Took a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Air

puffffff..........

Instructions :)

Show up at my doorstep. No words.

Take my hand, with confidence. Silently.

Drag me out as I am, barefoot. Keep your mouth closed.

Let's walk, hide me. Now, you can open your lips.
to kiss me.

Groovy

THE CURE:
:)

MY LIFE

I've learned about it from books about heros.

I see it in music.

I speak in lyrics.

I feel in soul and rock'n'roll.

I dream to save it in films.

Protective

Is men's nature.
It's just one of those particulars, like that our bodies require protein. Because we were hunting to eat for ages. Because that's what men did.
In the long run, with the realization that it's a quality that requires AT LEAST will power, it became respectable. HONOR and many other things, that make this living worthy came from there.

Protective men steal my admiration.

Although the ones protective of themselves revoke other feelings in me. Mixed ones. Like pitty.

PS:

Women can be protective also. Or so my friend said when I once watched the movie with him. Or, even, better! There are examples of women like that - I can bring.


but on the other hand, your vulnerability is what I like the most. CAN I close my eyes on games of self-convincing excuses?


Me, in my pants - ripped AMERICAN jeans. Jumping over the edge with the FUCK attitude.
A picture I am proud of.

Sex, Lies, and Videotapes:

"I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love what they're attracted to, whereas women become more and more attracted to the person they love."

should I?

Joined

Something like that, but almost worse.

tantalizing melody

If you've been, in Havana you have heard a dreamy tune.
When you think, of Havana you recall this dreamy tune.

If you've danced in Havana you've caught its funny rhythm
that made your senses stray,
Night and day here's that tantalizing melody they play.

Siboney, that's the tune that they croon at you down Havana way,
Siboney, that's the dance that they dance at the cafe,

And that tune brings you dreams so it seems underneath the silver moon,
As they play Siboney, ev'ry care will fade away.
Fascinating, captivating, Siboney.

Circles, Confusion