Be funky

yo~

True Thing!

:)

Yes I am :)

Its a Loony Tunes time, didn't ya know!

na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na!

Critic

"The sharpest criticism often goes hand in hand with the deepest idealism and love of country."
- RFK

=]

I Kissed a Girl

"Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent"

How's that for some profound poetry a'la pop-generation?
:p


..I liked it.
=]

D.A.N.C.E

And I Can Dance

Oh Baby, I CAN DANCE, AGAIN!

~

In my dreams

=)

Once upon a December...

Can you retrieve this memory from long ago, from when you was 5 or 7? ...when your small world seemed boundless and safe.

And then one day your mom was really, really mad at you. And as you were looking at her the only thing you felt was that she doesn't love you anymore.

so, with dignity you leave :)
And then, alone, in your room, you do nothing, deafening nothing. and you just lay there and cry, queitly.

And you just feel ABANDONED. Just.. misarable.

The end of the world, man!


this is how I miss home.

Dancing bears. Painted wings.
Things I almost remember.
And a song someone sings.
Once upon a December.
Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully.
Across my memory...

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully.
Across my memory...
Far away,long ago.Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart. Used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...

And a song. Someone sings
Once upon a December

Art vs Porn

If I see anyone else discussing this topic again I am gonna throw up all over the floor.

Athlete

I think I could have been a great athlete. I am not specially talented or anything, but I do have this ability to remain while impossible.

Life is nothing but a moment.

Cheers, NY!
Thanks for each and every kind of moment.

Homesick

They say it's "normal" to feel that way around Christmas.

but it feels so bitter-sad that I just can't consider it "normal". Christmas or not.

People really are irreplacable.

TRIVIA

Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk

Pretty good book.

Here is Iggy's quote that stroke me:
"You asshole, you almost killed me... you could’ve stopped the history of rock & roll."


The Book
Merry Christmas.


PS:
Chuck Klosterman may relax.

Effort

I am trying not to be mean and judgemental - that's why I am so obnoxiously into a desgin of my blog.

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien!

She sings this:

No, nothing at all, I regret nothing at all
Not the good, nor the bad. It is all the same.
No, nothing at all, I have no regrets about anything.
It is paid, wiped away, forgotten.
I am not concerned with the past, with my memories.
I set fire to my pains and pleasures,
I don’t need them anymore.
I have wiped away my loves, and my troubles.
Swept them all away.
I am starting again from zero.

It really is a knee bending song,isn't it?!

I admire it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt I asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but a times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like hman beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before I could argue him
out of his philosphy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
I do not agree with him
myself I would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity

but at the same time I wish
there was something I wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

archy

-Don Marquis (Archy and Mehitabel)

My Come Back Down to Earth

I've slept all day. More then I could have.
Didn't want to face the day.
I'd rather have stayed in my awful dream.

I've dreamt of a winter today.
It was a cold, dark, long winter.
With no soul around.
and a dirty snow everywhere, roughed on the edges.

I've dreamt that I convulsievly was searching for something in that bitter freezing desert.

And then I stopped. And was petrified to recognize that I was looking for nothing.
There was nothing.

Mr. Crowly

Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head
(Oh) Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead
Your lifestyle to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all those people with magic
(Yeah)You waited on Satan's call

Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure
Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred, manifest on this earth
(Oh)Conceived in the eye of a secret
Yeah, they scattered the afterbirth

Solo

Mr. Crowley, won't you ride my white horse?
Mr. Crowley, it's symbolic of course
Approaching a time that is classic
I hear that maidens call
Approaching a time that is drastic
Standing with their backs to the wall

(Solo)

Was it polemically sent?





ok, well, this picture might be a bit overdramatic :)



so here is another, refind one:

HA-HA.

that's all I have to say.

Beccy

:)

What?

Ninjas

It's a lot of non-obvious fun...

Fragile Russian Willderness

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/01/russia-wilderness/michael-melford-photography

Communication

I think a lot about articulation, negotiation, compromise, expression, perseption, inner connection.
But, sometimes, I just want to come over and smack the shit out of someone.

Tired

I wish my ass was getting the same workout as my brain. I might have been getting laid then. Instead of writing some bull shit in this stupid blog.

fuck.

where is my gym uniform?

Loosers

The diference between emo and hypochondriacs is that the last ones are usually happy - they just seem to recognize it much later..... that is when something worse happens.



The common thing, on the other hand, is that either are loosers.

Disenchanted

"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."

Reminders

The only certain thing humanity came to know is that life has no meaning.
-L. Tolstoy

With or Without

He said:
- I just want you to be happy, with or without me..

and I thought I WILL be , sadly.

Corporate Party. Free Booze.

There are few degrees of being drunk:

1st degree: Oh my gosh! I am sooo drunk!

2nd degree: Who is drunk?! I am drunk!!??!!???

3rd degree: It's when your reaction to the cab driver's question "where?" - you calmly respond: "None of your fucking business!"
As an option you can also attempt to hit the cab driver with the purse (do you understand why there is a plastic window between the seats now?)

4th degree:Is when you decide that you are fine to walk home from "da patey".


I was not ashamed of my 4th degre on Monday.

And thank god for friends.

Keeping in mind my co-workers...again, thank god for friends.

The Hour of The Bear!

Fuck THE HOUR OF THE WOLF.

THE HOUR OF THE WOLF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZM-No_HLqQ&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mawUooRj58I&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOjwQji6f9w&feature=channel

A search for sanity. Indeed.

PS:
never read mad people's diaries. ever.

...

Someday..

Well, it's not hard to see
Anyone who looks at me
Knows I am just a rolling stone
Never landing anyplace to call my own
To call my own

Well, it seems like so long ago
But it really ain't you know
I started out a crazy kid
Miracle I made it through the things I did
The things I did

Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow
‘Til then, I travel alone
And I make my bed with the stars above my head
And dream of a place called home

I had a chance to settle down
Get a job and live in town
Work in some old factory
I never liked the foreman standing over me
Over me

Oh I’d rather walk a winding road
Rather know the things I know
See the world with my own eyes
No regrets, no looking back, no goodbyes
No goodbyes





And I actually do have stars above my bed. Everywhere I move I glue one of those glow in the dark kits of stars. It's really the best to see them the last thing when you close your eyes in the end of the day.

This song hits me in the head with every damn line.

Donkey Love

I might have an idea as to why certain donkeys called "half-ass".

Bear Style!

"everybody was Kung Fu fighting who-hoo-hoooo"

Fear

P A R A N O I A

I found this picture on the internet:

...COINCIDENCE???

i don't think so!!!!

Nothing - helps me

For many times i've been saying that women are incapable of true friendship.
that's a crewed up on many levels thing to say.




here is the tuth: I'm incapable of frienship.

I am just too scared of being rejected.

Scared to not be good enough to be a friend.

Scared to disappoint by being myself.

Scared of somebody I learn to love turning their back on me.

Scared that the only reason they friend me is pitty.
the list goes on...



..so having nothing - helps me to deal with this fears, by avoiding them.


and see with men it's easy: even if they are disappointed in you, they wouldn't necessarily reject you. they also have pretty low expectation from you as a person to begin with.




I have not been drinking tonight. Still, I do feel like can say this.

Dirty show

She's a very special girl :)

Because by now I'm already used to humiliation!

Master Yoda

The Quote

“Joan of Arc had style. Jesus had style. Julia Lachimova has it.”

That is a quote by C. Bukowski modified...

short and sweet

FLOWER POWER

"A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams."

VENUS FLYTRAP

Venus Flytrap

The Venus Flytrap, is a plant that catches and digests animal prey. Its trapping structure is formed by a portion of each of the plant's leaves and is triggered by tiny hairs on their inner surfaces.


When an insect or spider crawling along the leaves comes into contact with one or more of the hairs twice in succession, the trap closes. The requirement of redundant triggering in this mechanism serves as a safeguard against the spurious expending of energy toward trapping other, non-living things which may not reward the plant with similar nutrition.


Can you believe this monster flower?!

M Y S I G N

WHERE IS IT?

Where the fuck is it?

"New York City"

I can't remember what I planned tomorrow
I can't remember when it's time to go
When I look in the mirror
Tracing lines with a pencil
I remember what came before

I wanted to think there was endless love
Until I saw the light dim in your eyes
In the dead of the night I found out
Sometimes there's love that won't survive

New York City
Such a beautiful disease
New York City
Such a beautiful,
Such a beautiful disease

Laura kept all her disappointments
Locked up in a box behind her closet door
She pulled the blinds and listened to the thunder
With no way out from the family store

We all told her things could get better
When you just say goodbye
I'll lay awake one more night
Caught in a vision I want to deny

And did I mention the note that I found
Taped to my locked front door
It talked about no regrets
As it slipped from my hand to the scuffed tile floor

I rode the train for hours on end
And watched the people pass me by
It could be that it has no end
Just an action junkie's lullaby

New York City

We were full of the stuff that every dream rested
As if floating on a lumpy pillow sky
Caught up in the whole illusion
That dreams never pass us by
Came to a tattoed conclusion
That the big one was knocking on the door
What started as a mass delusion
Would take me far from the place I adore

New York City

Thanks.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"

:-)

Democracy and Censorship

btw... compare the below (most famouse) Russian cartoon and let's say Tom and Jerry.
And begin the disusson about the influance of art. then Democracy. Then, freedom of expression.

Goose Bumps

I went to see the Rockettes show today at Radio City. In New York City.. :)

Most of the people I've happened to know throughout my life would never be there. Some of tem don't even know it exists.

That magnificence made me cry.

The rockettes are so beautiful. But there was one that stood out. She was the only black girl, but that is not the reason - the reason is that she was shining!!
There aren't too many black rockettes, right? She must be really loving it, for her to be there tonight and outshine everyone by her presence alone.
You could just tell - that there was nobody on that stage who wanted to be there more than her. Not even nearly.
Just like there was no other person in the house happier then me.

...you know what I mean.. I'm in NY now, and it's not like it was all rainbows and butterflies. It's not like somebody was waiting for me here. Or supporting me. Or even said something like:"i hope you'll be alright".
I dug my way to that show.
And it was worth every second..
It's just like one of those cookies you get at the blood center - you'd never taste a better one.

They were showing NYC streets. I've recognized every one of them.

I, I, i came to this city, and I made it mine.


oh.. right the goose bumps - I had them all throughout the show.




MY DREAMS ARE ALIVE. and so am i.

SeaMonsters

Perspective

dammit

BOLD SENTENCES
I can't stop thinking in them.

H E A R T L E S S

PS:
In the end of the song the lyrics read: you lose, you lose, you lose. .. just saying this cuz, you know.. it's hard to transcribe lyrics sometimes.

:)

Stress

This Quote:

"-Look here, Cranly, he said. You have asked me what I would do and what I would not do.
I will tell you what I will do and what I will not do.
I will not servie that in which I no longer believe, wheter it call itself my home, my fathreland, or my chruch: and I will try to express myself in some mode of life or art as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for my defence the only arms I allow myself ot use - silence, exile, and cunning...

-You made me confess the fears that I have. But I will tell you also what I do not fear.
I do not fear to be alone or to be spurned for another or to leave whatever I have to leave. And I am not afraid to make a mistake, even a great mistake, a lifelong mistake, and perhaps as long as eternity too."
-James Joyce from "A portrait of the Artists as a Young Man"

I agree with it.

Oh well - II

CW

Oh well

Because

DO NOT DRINK AND BLOG!

somebody remind me to make that sign. And hang it all over the room. And maybe even over my laptop's screen.


and keyboard too.

Hungover

God loves me, he wants me to handle it.
what doesn't kill us - makes us stronger..

I meant it

“[The show ended as likely everyone in the audience had hoped: with Colvin joining Hiatt for a joining encore. Hiatt introduced the song saying] here’s one you all learned as kids, ... This Land Is Your Land.”
-Woody Guthrie


I meant it


I always will







Peace

My LAST post guided by YOU

Picture it.

tell me you see the beauty in the deadly-ethereal pale skin, in the innocent-empty eyes, in the bleeding wrists.

There was life pulsing. In my brain. pump.pump.pump - it wont let me exist...you know..
..so I cut it.
My veins are bleedig . mushy squiky luiquid. disgusting, really.

I've heard the blood is the irreplacable source of life for some.

___
If you ever been here before, watch this video. Please. :-) It's my first post not for myself. at least for the sake of the fact that some photos are from mm in it =}



there is this other beauty of seeing the first breath, or the pink color coming back to the pale cheeks. It also feels beatiful.
VIVLA LA VITA!
Viva DA LOVE!
:)




















i shall live...............the God said so.

A Radio With Guts:

I think that could be my new nickname..


=)

I just have to say something,

I am not giving up;
I am not letting go - no matter how desperate and lost it makes me feel at times.

I'll remain.

This strength comes from Jesus Christ, Shakespeare, Jim Morrison and many others.

I CHOOSE TO LET MYSELF BE.


PS:
and there was the worst birthday present imagined - me.
:)

no title

It's raining outside.

Wanna listen together?

I'm stumbuling, but on MY own feet... feels good. to walk.

nerve wracking fears

I feel like the only reason I have fears in the relationships is because I refuse to lie and to pretend. The most people just live playing roles switching their personalities on and off, loosing themselves in lies and self-invented characters...

..to bad Bergman died... he'd totally get it.. =)